Jon Bon Jovi Hosts Snl

 The Promos

     Saturday Night Live gets so much more fun if you like the host. Sure the musical guests matter but they are usually around for about 2 songs. And to top of all that, if the skits are funny too-well, then you have a winner in your hands.

     Bon Jovi is my favorite band and Jon Bon Jovi is my favorite rock leading man. I have seen a couple of his movies and he has done decent jobs. He has played a variety of characters from an abusive husband, a cute prick (he has played cute pricks more than once), a navy officer… And he has made some interesting TV appearances. But still, Jon Bon Jovi will be predominantly perceived as a musician and he doesn’t have a problem with that. But Jon hosting SNL makes good sense: You have a musician who can act so neither the skits nor the introduction part should be a problem. That being said, they writers have done a pretty good job including Jon Bon Jovi’s real life story in the skits and help him entertain the audience with some obvious materials.

     I couldn’t find the skits online apart from the promos and the hilarious “people getting punched” bit, but the rest of the skits can be enjoyed even through my story telling (I hope).

     The First Skit

     Flashback to 1986. One of the SNL regular cast members (Amy Poehler) are is playing her youngself in an era with lots of big hair, bad make-up choice and awful lot of hair spray. Puberty sucks, she is miserable and she is pissed that she can’t go to the Bon Jovi concert that night. There is a life-sized Jon Bon Jovi (Slippery When Wet) poster on her wardrobe and Jon comes out of it. The girl is euphoric. Jon has his funny 80s clothes on and of course the huge hair. He consoles the girl that everything is going to be alright. There are some fun bits thrown here and there but below are my favorites:

Jon: Now, listen closely because I’ve got something important to tell you. 20 years from now, you are going to be a cast member on Saturday Night Live. And I am going to be the host. Does that blow your mind or what?

The Girl: Wow…Wait, you are gonna be the host?

 ***

The Girl: In the future, is Bon Jovi still around?

Jon: (with a full-on wide smile) Yes, Amy. Bon Jovi is still around.

***

The Girl: When will I see you again?

Jon: I’ll see you October 13th, 2007. I’ll look exactly the same but I’ll have cut my hair.

 ***

     There you go: In one skit, you have the bad fashion, how young Jon still looks and how it is funny that a rocker is hosting.

    The Intro

    The intro is always my favorite. For one thing, even if the skits aren’t funny, the host always does something specific to him/her and entertains the audience. Jon comes in and people from the audience start asking if he is not going to be singing, all part of the act of course.

GIRL: Sorry, sorry.. Just…does that mean you are not going to be singing?

Jon: That’s right dear- tonight I’m here for the comedy aspect. Foo Fighters are here.

Girl: (very obviously disappointed) This should be fun.

Jon: Sorry but tonight is just about the acting.

     Then another guy stands up, all sarcastic:

The Guy: Right…Because who wants to see Jon Bon Jovi sing? I wanna see Jon Bon Jovi act. This will be the greatest night of my life. (then he nudges his wife and they leave together)

     Jon is sad that people are not giving him a chance and then another guys’s voice is heard from the audience. He stands up and we see that it’s Richie Sambora (Bon Jovi’s lead guitarist).

Richie Sambora: I have a question!! (of course if you love the band, you are already enjoying the show) Don’t we have a new album? Did you ever consider my feelings? The band’s feelings?

     And at this point Jon calls Richie to the stage where they are joined by the rest of the guys and they start singing from Lost Highway. Oh and I am giving only sequences with Jon and ordering them accordingly…

      The Second Skit: Ohhhhh!

      Three macho guys from New Jersey are on a game show. Jon does look the part with the awful gold chains and all. The contestants are given a particular scenario and are asked to go Ohhhhh whenever they see something wrong with the bits and explain why.

     Guys are so typically Soprano-loving; with Italian roots: They can’t let their wives ruin family recipes, they want the kids to respect their mothers and they don’t mind having mistresses.

The Prostitute scenario: Supposedly the guys are driving home, they see a gorgeous hooker and they take her in the car. Just in the middle of the act, they remember it is their wives’ birthday. No one protests about the situation so the host encourages them.

 Guy (played by Jon): What’s the problem with that?

     The guys go crazy if their mistress calls Frank Sinatra overrated or crash their wives’ car but they don’t mind so much if she is pregnant (it could be them or others)…Hilarious…

    Third Skit: People getting punched before eating

     This is just so funny! And thanfully there is a video. Keep your eyes open for Jon and the Foo fighters getting punched.

     I think I became a Andy Samberg fan with this one.

     Fourth Skit:

      Jon is supposedly a guest on an Italian TV show as himself. But the guys think Jon Bon Jovi is Italian (his family is Italian and hence is actual surname bongiovi) so they keep talking in Italian and get pissed when Jon says he needs a translator. The host is using all the exaggerated gestures in Italian and uses a language that  only sometimes sounds like Italian. First they say that they have made Jon’s hit song Blaze of Glory into a commercial jingle – for a cigarette brand called Blaze that targets nuns and children. And they have made Jon the spokesperson. Before Jon can recover from the shock, the guy asks him about the hit Wanted Dead or Alive and tells Jon that the steel horse in the lyrics (the lyrics go: ..on a steel horse I ride…) is a robot horse. Of course Jon tries to explain it is a metaphor for the tour bus but the guy has already let a giant robot horse in the studio. The host (played by the ever funny Bill Hader)  has such a funny shit-I-got-caught impression when Jon says that the language doesn’t sound at all like Italian…

    Fifth Skit:

     Space shuttle. The one (human) in charge can’t find her purse and she is concentrating on that- and she keeps worrying about it even when they are attacked by their enemy: led by the half-green (and one ugly Jon Bon Jovi- green doesn’t become him, really : ) ) This one is not so funny and a little weird, but it is OK.

  The Sixth and last Jon Skit:

    1984, New Jersey. Bon Jovi members are trying to find a name for the band. The reality is that it was the producers’ idea to name the band Bon Jovi but of course it makes a more entertaining skit if Jon keeps insisting they name the band after him : ) Jon plays himself and the rest are the SNL members. Jon thinks it is the best name ever. He thinks it rocks. Down are my picks:

David Bryan: Maybe the reason some of us having problems with that name is that it is your last name…

Jon: (laughs) Come on! It is not why I suggested Bon Jovi. It didn’t even occur to me that it was my last name…

 ***

Jon: Even I had a completely different name, I’d still totally want to call the band Bon Jovi!

 ***

Jon: I can’t help it if I was born with a bands name!

 ***

Jon: Tico, when you hear the name Bon Jovi, what comes to mind?

Tico: You!

***

      And my personal fav:

Richie: Next on the agenda. The name of the first album.

Jon:  (raising his hand) I’ve got a thought.

     At this point Bon Jovi’s real first album cover comes to the screen and it is called Bon Jovi.

     I have to accept that especially this last one is much funnier if you like the band. Growing up, it was so confusing for my friends when I wanted to talk about the band. They would ask whether I was talking about the guy or the band. They would mostly assume it was Jon and some didn’t know if there was a difference. Just like Gerard Butler made fun of his action roles and his macho characters, Jon makes great fun of the band’s name, himself and any other stuff that they inspire…

The End:

Bon Jovi sing  another song and well, the guy who gives the intro is Jack Nicholson!!! Boy, I sometimes just love SNL!

All in love, highly recommended for Jon’s and the band’s fans. Or for anyone who wants to ridiculousness of the 80s or SNL loyal fans. It can be downloaded online. Enjoy