Top Five Programs People Don’t Admit They Watch
There are good and bad programs. We probably watch the latter the most, we just don’t tell people that. For some reason we are drawn to the most awful, here’s a few of the worst TV vices.
Ok… we all have them. Please understand I’m not trying to comment on the quality of the program, i am merely commenting on how embarrassed you would be to admit you watch them.
Also note that there is no order to these programs, they are all as bad as each other.
So start peering from behind your fingers, and preparing to close your laptop immediately if anyone walks in the room…away we go.
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Britain’s Next Top Model
Obviously this depends on your gender; women are most likely to be extremely proud of this but for men…not so much.
I don’t think that men really watch it for the secret view on the life of the model, we are just attracted by the promise of someone who is worthy of being a model. However, we are then drawn in by the girl’s hilarious bitchiness towards each other and start laughing at how they literally get upset over anything! It can be summed up like this:
We come for the bodies, we stay for the humour.
In all likelihood, we’d be able to have a good laugh about it all at the pub…except we never will. Ever.
Are you going to be the first man to say: “So what about those models eh? I can’t believe they get upset over having to wear that dress, it wasn’t that bad!”
If you can truly do this then you sir, are a better man then I. -
Trisha Goddard
How long has Trisha been around? The truth is that no one knows, I’ve heard she was talking to people about their troubles before TV was even around, they just happened to start filming her once and saw that people liked it. Personally i watch because it’s on at a good time for me (10.30 AM, which is about the time that I wake up). That plus it makes me laugh. We can all admit to watching Jerry Springer because that’s just ridiculous and everyone has seen it at least once.
Trisha is different. Trisha is not so over the top. People do not start flashing their flesh as soon as they realise cameras are rolling on. On Jerry Springer, you know that the guests are acting up to the problems; they know they are ridiculous and that people aren’t taking them seriously.This is the difference.
On Trisha, the guests think that people feel sorry for them that their brother has married their step-brother: cousin Dewey. This is what makes it hilarious
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Cribs
Ok, so everyone knows the basic format and most of us have seen it before to simply scream at the utterance of the words… “And this is where the magic happens…”
What we don’t admit is that most of us have probably seen almost every episode. For some reason we become absolutely addicted to seeing what kind of toothpaste the most remote and obsolete celebrity uses or how many diamonds their pet chimp’s watch has.
Why? Because we went to be able to buy our chimps nice watches that’s why!
But again we can’t admit that we know exactly who has the biggest bathroom in the world or the most pimped out pet.
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The One Show
Imagine this. Its 7.30, you’ve just started cooking your dinner. It’s not yet time to get ready for going out. The sky one episode of the Simpsons is one that you’ve seen a thousand times…something like where Homer gives up alcohol. It’s been a long day, you want to unwind before your night begins, and perhaps you want to be relaxed for a big date.
What do you do?
You switch to BBC 1, its time to lose brain cells. It’s time to learn about the history of Weetabix.
Let’s be honest. No-one cares for the history of Weetabix or the 456 types of paperclip. That is why we turn on the One Show, because this is the kind of thing they tell us about. So we can all kick back and simply glaze out of reality for a while.
Still, i am waiting for the day when someone asks me the 386th type of paperclip, and i can tell them.
This is why no-one admits they watch this show, because we would never get anything done. We would spend all our time debating the paperclip trends.
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Big Brother
The ultimate. The main shame.
Again, we all admit we know what it is, and sometimes that we have some basic knowledge of the housemates and the big story lines of the week.
What we do not admit is that in the past week we’ve watched around 60 hours of the live broadcast, know the shoe sizes and the number of hairs of every single housemate.
We do not admit that we would give up our right arm simply to use it to hit “Alexandria” or anyone else.
We do not admit that we pushed an old woman down in our rush to get home in time to view the nominations.
We do not admit we missed an a-level exam because someone said something bitchy in the diary room.
And it will always be this way, because I’ve heard they are bringing back the death penalty for people who do admit this.
We’ll just have to live with the classic “O yeah I saw that once, haven’t they put in a transsexual/animal/alien/blind/albino/robotic guy this year?”
Thanks for reading my list, if you have any more suggestions please don’t hesitate to tell me and i may even add some
Remember…we all have our vices when it comes to television
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