X-Factor: Night of the Creeps

Joke Wagner Cardilho was aptly characterised by Danii: “Wagner not doing medley? Why not ruin three rock songs?” I wonder if the punters voting for Wagner out of spite for Simon ‘NipTuck’ Cowell know what they are doing? It was bad enough when Alexandra Burke was played on radio every twenty minutes with her rather awful Hallelujah, what will a recording of Wagner’s do to our ears? Maybe they’ll choose the Aria of the Queen of Night for his recording.

At least, his performance this week could have been used at caterwauling in Spongebob Squarepants; it was definitely his best performance so far. Danii was catty for once, referring to the chorus (I’m a creep) when saying that Wagner could identify with the song. I can identify with her comment, beautifully done Danii. Not unexpectedly, the second time round was as awful as the first.

The boys from One Direction are learning fast, they pick up all the little professional tricks to play their audience. No matter where their point of exit will be in the competition, they will be here to stay. If they really chose their songs this and last week, then they will be able to stay away from the worst kitsch. (I hate to admit, though, that even kitsch sounded good when coming from Boyzone.) The second time round they showed their improvement in their voices. The boys don’t need to hop about to fill the stage. Well done, boys.

Mary Byrne dealt well with the Rock issue in this week’s challenge. There was not a lot of Rock left in her first performance, but it was very Mary Byrne. Actually, it was better in my opinion than the original. The second performance showed more Rock surviving in it, and it did not work out too well. She may be able to sing loudly, but she doesn’t yell too well.

Rebecca Ferguson fits into Rock as well as Mary Byrne; but she managed as well. While I was not too happy with the song, I still could listen to her for hours on end. A recording artist should have an unmistakable voice; hers is that voice in this competition. Her second performance wowed even me. I usually find something to complain about, but this would be a record I could buy.

Katie Waissel tried to whisper herself through the first part of the song, but even that didn’t help her when her voice didn’t quite reach the volume necessary to make an impression. I didn’t like the performance and still think she should be doing musicals on stage; it’s panto season now, should suit her downright well. The second song didn’t come off any better than the first due to her rather limited voice. But she yells better than Mary while she can’t sing loudly. I suppose, you can’t have it all except if you’re Tina Turner.

Matt Cardle’s limited talents were brutally shown up by his song. When you have a less than average voice, singing Rock karaoke is maybe not the way forward. It was a creepy performance. Meanwhile it has become obvious that he is missing his balls, as all the songs chosen for him are usually performed by female voices (and better). A male voice could have made it through, his falsetto just sounded thin and sick. The second song was perfect for his transgender voice. I just didn’t get the guitar prop. Ah, Cheryl tells me he was pretending to play it. I wouldn’t have been able to tell that from the movements he made. But all things considered, do we really need a James Blunt copy?

Cher Lloyd proved last week that she is absolutely unable to deal with pressure (unlike Katie Waissel who seems to become fairly good at dealing with it). As her little bit of voice isn’t up to anything that has to do with singing, Rock was mission impossible for her. As usual when unable to properly perform, she reverted to reciting the words of the song (I think she calls that rapping). Nobody knows what she is doing in this competition and really no human being is able to explain why she was saved last weekend. In the second song, the music was muted to about 20 decibel so you could still hear her talking; ah excuse me, rapping. We need a Cheryl Cole copy even less than a James Blunt one.

Related articles
The Judges Upstage the Contestants
A Double Eviction is Not Enough
Girls Prove Jamiroquai Right
Scary Performances Not Because of Halloween
Where Talented Singers are Overqualified
Cher Lloyd has the Duck Factor
Cher Lloyd and Her Promises
Cher Lloyd, the Exploited Wreck
Loser Cheryl Cole Picks Two Losers