Why Jedward Should Win The X-Factor

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The original mistake

The Jane Dow’s review: For whatever reasons Louie picked Jedward to be one of his final acts, it wasn’t their singing abilities. He said at the time he thought they were cute and that girls would love them. Perhaps Louie was playing it safe, hoping that the twins would pave his way to the X-Factor final showdown because they were certain to get the votes of their Irish countrymen and many of the UK girls.  Louie himself, being Irish, this move was probably not the best one, but certainly not surprising.

The paranoid’s review:Louie is in cahoots with the Simon Cowell and the producers of the X-Factor. He gets a percentage of all the phone-in votes, therefore if he picks contestants from Ireland, Scotland or Wales, they’ll get votes from their countrymen, ensuring they stay in the competition week after week, providing a continued flow of cash for himself and everyone else involved.

After all, Jedward has so far stayed in the X-Factor purely based on votes they’ve received from viewers, when even their mentor Louie knows they cannot sing. This is evident, judging from the backing track he ensures they have when they ‘perform.’

Note: the paranoid’s review is just that. There is no truth in it. The paranoid made it all up.

The ‘mistake’ that compounded the original mistake

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The Jane Dow’s review:After weeks of complaining that the twins John and Edward were the most rubbish singers, were the weirdest two people he’s ever seen and all the other superlative he’s mastered over the years, Simon Cowell did not get rid of the boys when the chance was lavishly handed to him on a golden, X-shaped platter. Cheryl Cole and Dani Minogue made their voices heard. They were sending home the twins. Even Louie, the boys’ own mentor, apologised for having to get rid of Lucie Jones (the second act contesting the bottom place) in favour of keeping them. Simon’s vote to keep her would’ve sent Jedward home and we could’ve finally been rid of them. Yet, he chose to go to deadlock (the viewers’ votes), appearing to be ‘giving the public what they wanted.’ Jedward have Ireland behind them and lots of eleven year old girls who think twins prancing around with skunk-inspired hairstyles are cute. Of course, they would have more views than a talented Welsh girl.

The paranoid’s review:Simon knew that keeping Jedward in the X-factor meant that more people will be voting for them in the coming weeks, thus making the show a lot more money than Lucie would. His priority is, therefore, not talent, but who he could shake for longer to yield the most bucks for the show (and himself).

Note: the paranoid’s review is just that. There is no truth in it. The paranoid made it all up.

The conclusion

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The Jane Dow’s conclusion:Jedward should win the X-Factor because Louie, knowing they weren’t very good singers, scratch that, they aren’t singers at all but could possibly have a single career (between the two of them) posing as statues of Roadrunner, picked them to be his finalists. He placed personal motives above the dreams and hard work of the other worthy contestants. He also disregarded the intelligence of the viewing public by masking his real reasons for picking the boys, together known as Jedward.  They should win the show so that this tactical placement of finalists that has been going on in recent years could be stripped bare. The producers of the X-Factor and the viewing public could then have an honest, open debate (or a brawl, if you will) about the matter, draw an X under the line and move on to a more candid selection process, where next year’s contestants are picked for purely their talent. That and that alone.

The paranoid’s conclusion:Jedward should win the X-Factor because the public’s view of what the show has become will be validated. Louie picked the twins, Simon saved them after mawing about how rubbish they were. It is obvious that their placement and subsequent stay in the X-Factor had nothing to do with their erm… talent.  If they win, it will make a mockery of the show and producers will have no alternative but to get back to the grassroots of what made the show worthwhile to begin with; talent and talent.

Plus, can you imagine Simon Cowell’s  face when he has to hand the million pound contract over to them?

Yes, Jedward should definitely win the X-factor. Vote for them this week-end.

And if you’re not too busy making expensive phone calls to the X-Factor, you can visit my blog The Relationship Supermarket.com for some more views and articles.